Now that we’ve contrasted our Earthly experience of existence with our spiritual one, and discussed why we might not remember our disembodied experience, we might wonder how our soul-self feels about incarnated life.
I use the term soul-self to refer to the long view of the self – the part of us that persists through the cycles of birth and death. There is no difference between your soul-self and “you,” but your soul-self carries with it the deep understanding of this “other” existence, something your conscious mind (heavily influenced by empiricism and the scientific method) will deny or, at least, doubt. We’ll talk more about this split a little later in the post.
When I first read the Newton dialogues, the language was sometimes disconcerting for me. Our Soul-selves seem to have a real ambivalence towards life in a physical body. Some of Newton’s subjects spoke of incarnation as something to look forward to and relish, but many expressed anxiety and regret over their experiences on Earth. They incarnated to accomplish certain goals, but once in a body they couldn’t remember what those were.
The glittering distractions of today’s world are a far cry from the dawn of human existence where mythology and ritual ruled the day. Although the embodied spirit can create amazingly beautiful (and terrible) things, most rational society today is so entrenched in the primacy of embodied existence it refuses to seriously consider the possibility of a disembodied one.
Thus, we incarnate with the best of intentions, but when we’re on-the-ground we are convinced by everyone else to ignore what’s in our hearts and follow what’s in their heads. We strive to achieve someone else’s definition of success, yet even when we do we find ourselves feeling bored and unfulfilled, depressed and lonely (even when we’re in a relationship).
We find fulfillment when we return to our spirit – and that is a wonderful experience, but even that is not always enough. As human beings we live in the corporeal world, not in the spirit world, so we must find a way to find lasting fulfillment in this aspect of our existence.
Our Soul Self’s Perception of Life on Earth
Although there is a wide range in the reports from the Newton dialogues, in most cases there seems to be a huge disconnect in what the soul goes into a new life expecting to be able to do and what they are actually able to accomplish. The case below represents an extreme;
“Dr. N: Shabez, now that you have died and returned to the spirit world, tell me how you feel? S: (shouts) Cheated! That life was so cruel! I couldn’t stay. I was only a little girl unable to help anybody. What a mistake! Dr.N: Who made this mistake? S: (in a conspiratorial tone) My leader. I trusted his judgment, but he was wrong to send me into that cruel life to be killed before my life got started. Dr. N: But you did agree to come into the body of Shabez? S: (upset) I didn’t know Earth would be such an awful place full of terror – I wasn’t given all the facts – the whole stupid life was a mistake and my leader is responsible. Dr. N: Didn’t you learn anything from this life? S: (pause) I started to learn love… yes, that was wonderful… my brother… parents… but it was so short…” (need loc) Journey of Souls – Michael Newton
Newton presents the above case as a ‘newly incarnating’ soul. Another subject had this to say about returning to the spirit world;
“Dr. N: What else are you feeling at this moment? S: Peace. There is such peace you never want to leave again.” (loc 947) Journey of Souls – Michael Newton
The stakes are different for us in a disembodied existence versus an embodied existence. By all accounts, we are much more connected to each other in the disembodied state. Without the heavy constraints of physical matter we can move faster, feel freer, be more connected with others and with the Universe at large. Without the constraints of a body such as hunger and decay, the stakes for every interaction are much lower. Our relationships seem to be more free and less contentious;
“Dr. N: What is the major difference in your interactions with other souls, compared to being in human form on Earth? S: Here no one is a stranger. There is a total lack of hostility toward anyone… We recognize a universal bond between us which make us all the same. There is no suspicion toward each other… Dr. N: Living on Earth must be difficult for souls, then? S: It is, for the newer ones especially, because they go to Earth expecting to be treated fairly. When they aren’t, it’s a shock. For some, it takes quite a few lives to get used to the Earth body.”
With our spiritual existence virtually unknown to us, (and even for those who feel a deep knowing that it does exist, the actual experience remains largely elusive) the stakes for our embodied self are very high indeed. Isolated in a solitary body we are lonely, afraid of death, we feel a drive to attain earthy success, we care very much about the attractiveness of our body to others and leaving a lasting imprint on this world.
The experience on Earth is so intense and overwhelming that, “…most all returning souls will continue on to some sort of healing station before finally joining their groups.”
It sounds rather like getting off some kind of wild ride. Here is another example,
“S: Giles [subject’s spirit guide] has made me look upon my lives as a chess game with the Earth as the board. Certain moves bring certain results and there are no easy solutions. I plan, and then things go wrong during the game in my life. I sometimes think he lays traps for me to work through on the board. Dr. N: Do you prosper with this technique of your advanced guide? Has Giles been a help to your problem-solving during the game of life? S: (pause)…more afterward… here (in the spirit world)… but he makes me work so damn hard on Earth.” (loc 1419) Journey of Souls – Michael Newton
This theme is repeated over and over in life-between-life dialogues. We incarnate, we don’t anticipate the level of struggle we will have in a matter-dominant world and we (often, though not always) come out of a life feeling somewhat remorseful or resentful that we couldn’t accomplish as much as we planned.
It aligns perfectly with the comment that Esther Hicks-channeling-ABRAHAM made in Anaheim, “We don’t understand why it takes you so long.”
You may be able to see at this point how this might lead to a great deal of ambivalence on the side of our soul-selves towards the incarnated self. It is my belief that the result of this ‘orbiting’ state is much of the deep self-loathing we have as incarnated beings.
We dress that feeling up in many forms, give it many names, and project it into the circumstances of the current life to explain it – but this ‘orbiting’ existence, our inability to clearly see our being and all that contributes to who we are as one cohesive whole, might be the real root cause of our self-loathing, shame, and self-disconnection from divine love.
In next week’s post we’ll talk about ‘that pesky Ego’ and how it relates to all of this.
As an aside – I was initially going to try to take on this subject in four posts – but given this is the 3rd and it’s a lot of writing with miles to go… it looks like it’s going to be six, maybe seven.
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 (loc 969) Journey of Souls – Michael Newton
 (loc 1641) – Destiny of Soul – Newton, Michael